Time Out For Women

Ok so I'm a little late in getting this out...


So last weekend (March 20-21) was time Out for Women in Orlando. My mom, sisters and I went together. We got a hotel for Friday night and had a wonderful time.


We checked in early and then headed to PF Chang's for lunch. This is one of my favorite restaurants. I of course ordered the Mongolian Beef and everyone else ordered some kind of chicken. Jessica was still waiting on her dish after we got ours. Our food was cold and when Jess' came it was piping hot... and then she cut into the chicken and it was RAW!!! Oh dear - NOT a good experience... but afterwards we went to The cheesecake Factory to get yummy cheesecake to have later in the evening.


Friday night was wonderful. I missed most of the first speaker (Chieko Okasaki). I really enjoy listening to her. She's a great speaker. We also heard from Mark Mabry who is a professional photographer. Since I am in love with photography, his story was really cool to hear. He started out wanting to be a lawyer and then quit and took up photography. There were times when he didn't know if it was the right thing to do with his life, but the Lord let him know he was on the right path. There is a line he quoted from one of Michael McClain's songs that parallels my feelings... "I took a snapshot of my life but the exposure was all wrong." Super profound.


I'm not sure of my purpose in life right now and his words really hit home for me. He let me know that everyone can have a surety of purpose thru the grace of Heavenly Father. I need to do some serious soul searching and reach out to the One who can let me know (of a surety) what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life.


Sometimes I just don't feel worthy of receiving the blessings I most desire in this life. Mark mentioned a line from the movie Meet Joe Black that says, "My wife knows the worst thing about me and she's still here." What a comfort it is to know that if I go to the Lord with the worst thing about me, he will still love me and still be there for me. I think back to when I was baptized and took the name of Christ upon me. I KNOW that I did that, but do I always REMEMBER?


Somethings I know:
1) I know what it is to be lonely.
2) I know that the scriptures contain truths.
3) I know that appearances can be decieving.
4) I know that my Redeemer lives and loves me, even though sometimes I forget.


Saturday started a new meeting and special musical numbers by Hilary Weeks. I love her. Her music speaks to my soul. She sang quite a few songs from her new CD and there is one called "Tender Behind the Mercy" that really spoke volumes to me about so many things, but especially about my Redeemer and why He is my Redeemer. The last verse and chorus:


More than once I've added to the pain
He bore in Gethsemane
Yet gentle as a morning breeze
His love reaches out to me


He's the tender behind the mercy
The unconditional in love
And when I need forgiveness
He's the Redeeming in Son
More and more I see
In the blessings all around me
I can't help but see
In the way that He loves me
More and more I see
He's the tender behind the mercy


I think probably the first hymn I ever learned was "I Am a Child of God". We start to learn this song in Primary. I have sung it millions of times but on Saturday I think I really heard it and felt it for the first time. Hilary sang it to a beautiful arrangement that she created. The words really leapt out at me. Read the words. I was so touched by this song and Hilary's beautiful voice.


I am a child of God and He has sent me here
Has Given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear


I am a child of God and so my needs are great
Help me to understand his words before it grows too late


I am a child of God rich blessings are in store
If I but learn to do His will I'll live with Him once more


Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way
Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday


Emily Watts is a wonderful woman who had so much to teach me about truths and Heavenly Father's love. What is the truth we can anchor ourselves to? Heavenly Father. Soemtimes Heavenly Father lets hard things happen so that we can gain the qualities we need to do the Lord's will. I need to just be patient and trust the Lord to "untie the knots". Psalms 9:10 talks about trusting in the Lord and seeking Him. Sometimes the fruit doesn't ripen on this side of the veil... how lucky we are that it doesn't end here.


Brent Top reminded me that I need to focus on Christ and some ways in which to solidify the focus. C.S. Lewis once said, "Only real risk tests the reality of belief." I know that I cannot walk on water by myself. Just like Peter, I need the strength of Chirst to bring me to the ship.


Three ways to focus on Christ:
1) Think on Him
2) Thank Him
3) Trust in Him


D&C 121 speaks to letting virtue (godly power) garnish our thoughts. President Packer once said, "You can only think one thought at a time. When you have a good thought, there is no room for a bad one." Even when life is difficult, God is good to us. There are so many blessing that He has in store for us but only through gratitude can we see what those blessings are. We need to remember to let the Lord "hold us, confort us."


Wendy Ulrich spoke about the differences between sin and weakness. The gospel is intended to give us answers to the difficult questions in our lives. We shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes, but it is imperative that we learn the difference between sin and weakness.


Sin: When you know better. Rebellion. Intention
Weakness: Limitations to being mortal. Illness. Temptation. Emotion.


One thing to remember is that Satan is the author of sin and God is the author of weakness. One of my favorite (and oft quoted on my mission) scriptures is found in Ether 12:27, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." When we are weak, God offers us His strength to help us along the road.


The day was wrapped up with Kris Belcher. What a wonderfully comedic woman. She had me in tears with her stories. She has a wonderful sense of humor. From her I learned that there ARE answers and there IS comfort. I need to tell Heavenly Father, through prayer, exactly how I am feeling from day to day. The last 2 verses in D&C 121 talk about how The Son of Man hath decended below them all and to "hold on thy way". I cannot let go of christ, I cannot give up. My trials refine me. There is real power in Christ and the struggle is worth it (I just need to keep repeating this over and over...!).